So close, yet so far away!

Today would of been an awesome day to have a baby. It's 11.11.11 and Remembrance Day, it would also mean that I would of been 3 days early which is far longer than my doctors ever expected me to go yet so much better than being late. But to no avail, this baby does not seem to want to come. It must be a boy, it's going to be late and stubborn.

It was a close call though, I thought for sure today would be the day. For everyone who I keep lying to, I have been having false labour almost every night lately and last night was no exception. I started having contractions at about 9:00 pm. They only lasted for over an hour and never got crazy painful so I knew that is was a no go. I hopped into the bath and they stopped so off to bed I go. At around 3:00 am I woke to more contractions. They were light and spaced so I tried to sleep through them. Finally at 4:0o am I got up to see if I could get them closer together and stronger. I walked around, did the dishes and still they never progressed. I got them as close as 4 minutes apart but once I sat down or laid down they started to get further apart again. So back to bed at 5:00. I thought: heck, I am still getting contractions, I might just be too early, might as well get some sleep.

6:30 am Kaiya wakes us up and those darn contractions are still coming. Sporadic and ranging from 3-5 on the pain scale. I take the doggie for a walk, bounce on my ball, shower get ready and still no progress. My hubby had the day off so we planned to go for lunch with his family, By this time I am GROUCHY. These contractions are annoying. The last thing I want to do is talk to people about my false labor and have them tell me "Oh maybe today is the day then." Yeah right. Off to lunch we go. Still having annoying false labor. At this point it's been almost 9 hours of false labor, yuck. After lunch I went home and took a nap with Kaiya and the contractions stopped. Thank goodness, but so disappointing.

So for everyone who thinks that I am being a bitter pregnant lady because I am almost "late". This is the reason why I have been a hermit and a grouch, false labor is a nasty joke from Mother Nature.

Found here

Exhausted

I am absolutely exhausted right now. Between the emotional roller coaster of Blair's surgery and the physical toll that my body has taken in the last few days I just want to lay down and sleep for a whole day. Unfortunately I am also in so much pain that laying down hurts, standing hurts and sitting hurts. My hips and pelvic bone are going to be the death of me. It doesn't help that I am the only one who is walking the dog, taking care of Kaiya and cleaning/cooking right now (not that I am blaming Blair at all for this).

I am not sleeping well. I got the whole house to myself on Tuesday night when Kaiya slept over at Nana's and Blair was overnight in the hospital but my anxiety and worry for Blair kept me up. Kaiya hasn't slept through the night in over a month and when she does get a semi good sleep in she is up between 5 and 6 in the morning.

I am just SO TIRED!! I really just want to not be pregnant anymore. I know how blessed we are to be able to have another child and I know that it could be 10 times worse but I am just ready for another outside baby. Two months is just too long when you are in this much pain. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to relieve hip/pelvic pain while pregnant?

Poopa-doopa-doo-doo

Yes this is another Poop post.

Last night Blair, Kaiya and I headed out to one of Blair's co-workers house for a retirement party/dinner. Kaiya did great with using the toilet there (she is about 80% potty trained now by the way). Upon returning home I walked into the door and WHAM, a poop smell hit me like a wall. Oh for F's sake. There was puppy diarrhea all over the living room. We were only gone for a few hours tops, what the heck is he doing pooping all over my house?! You would think that after all the crap that Nanook eats his stomach would be as hard as nails. Nope.
So after a game of rock, paper, scissors, Blair ended up cleaning up the poop while I bathed Kaiya. After a small fight to the death, Kaiya fell asleep and all was quiet.

At around 2:00 in the morning, little pitter patter of feet entered our room, crawled onto our bed and laid down. After a few minutes I heard the distinct sound of a large body jumping off the bed and running to the door. Nanook had to go poop again! So with a kick Blair got up and let the damn dog out so he wouldn't shit all over my floor again.

Back to bed and all is quiet.

6:00 am hits and a small cry and light knocking is heard from down the hall. Kaiya was up. Since it sounded as though she had gotten back into bed I just left her with her soft wimpering wondering if she would go back to sleep till 7:00. Big mistake! Within minutes she was up again and frantically crying and banging on the door.

Blair got up to bring her into bed with him so that I could hop in the shower and get ready for the day. As he opened her door I heard her crying "poop, poop" Blair replied "Do you have to go poop?" pause "oh no, did you go poop?"

Thinking nothing of this since she had a diaper on when she went to bed I started to drag my large ass to the shower when I heard "oh no did you go poop on the floor?!"
My heart sank. Blair whisked her away to the bathroom to finish her business and I peeked into her room to see how bad the damage was. Apparently she had to go, so she took off her diaper and pooped by her door. As soon as Blair opened her door the nugget got wedged under it and smeared into a large semi circle of filth. What a mess.

I volunteered to clean that one up.

If it's not one child then it's the other, and I am ready for a third?! Not only would I have gotten a full nights sleep for the first time in a month if Nanook hadn't woken us up but we just cannot get this poop thing under control. I think Laminate might be a good option right about now.

And it continues:

Now I have found out that I have been exposed to Fifth Disease. I have a doctors appointment this afternoon to discuss what this possibly means for B2 and to get a blood test done to see if I have contracted it or not.

It is definitley one of those days *la sigh*

So it's going to be THAT kind of day is it?!

The babe has come down with yet another cold. Yuck. Which means that I have come down with yet another cold. I am feeling a little sorry for myself since not only do I feel like crap and sleep like crap on good days but Kaiya still has not settled back into sleeping through the night and needing constant reassurance from us that we are still alive and in the next room. Last night was one of the worst. She was up periodically through out the night. At one point Blair even went and slept on the floor of her room till she settled.

At about 5 this morning she woke up AGAIN. This time we put our foot down, no sleeping on the floor, no snuggles, back tickles etc. At 6 we caved and Kaiya came to bed with us. For 15 minutes we slept like logs. Then the day broke and up Blair and I got to get ready for work, babe still sound asleep in our bed (go figure).

I go downstairs, make a nice sandwich for lunch walk out of the room for a brief 2 minutes only to come back in and discover that my sandwich is missing. Keep in mind that I am still a little foggy and that I automatically assume I have placed it some where weird. I search the cupboards, the freezer, the pantry, nothing. I am beginning to doubt I ever made a sandwich. Fine, I will make another. Open the fridge, I used the last 2 slices of bread (minus the 2 nasty end pieces that no one eats and I am not about to make an exception for today) with the first sandwich. Pouting I make my way upstairs to whine to Blair.

"I am so annoyed, I made a sandwich for lunch and now I can't find it."
"What do you mean you can't find it?"
"Well I went to the bathroom, came out and it was gone"
"I'll come down and help."
"No, I think Nanook ate it."
"What?! Did you put it on the floor?" (Nanook has never, ever eaten anything off the counters before, hence the whole reason I never suspected him to begin with).
"No, it was on the counter. I think he ate it."

Blair still took a look around the kitchen, but our furry little friend had the look of guilt on his face. At least someone enjoyed my lunch today.

It is not a dogs life!

I am beginning to get frustrated with the fact that you are not allowed to take your dog ANYWHERE! We are in the process of planning our camping trips for the year and like most people, I love to camp near a body of water. There is nothing better than heading to the beach for a fun filled day of water wading and sand castles (as a Pisces I am naturally a water person, if I could be reincarnated as a mermaid, I would be).

Our dilemma is finding a beach where you can bring your doggy to. They just don't exist. I feel so bummed for my Mister. I chose to share my life with a pet so that I could SHARE my life with a pet. I don't want to leave him at home to stare out the window with a blank look on his face waiting for us to come home just so that we can all go the beach without him. It sucks! Dogs are meant to be outside, yet they aren't allowed to go anywhere.

We are planning on heading to BC for a week. We are hitting up a very popular lake/city and apparently bylaw states that dogs are not allowed in the lake water. Period. Not only can we not take him to the beach (which they are banned from) but he can't be on the boat, just in case he might fall in the water. He can't go for a swim, he can't cool off his paws. What a life!

Camping would be awesome for him, but he needs to be on leash at all times which means no fun for him, me or Kaiya (who he will unsuspectingly take out with his leash as he races for the chattering squirrel).

Animals just have no rights. This is discrimination at it's finest. Just because a few jackasses weren't abiding by the rules doesn't mean all dogs and their guardians should be punished. What's next? Your dog isn't allowed outside of your property?!

PS: Pick up your dog shit! Yeah, I'm talking to you. Don't ruin it for everyone else! If you feel that you can't do that, then don't own a dog!!

You have been warned.

I am a grouch this morning. I am not a morning person and as of late I have been getting worse. Don't look at me, talk to me or stand close to the sink while I am trying to brush my teeth because you will get a death stare, and very loud sigh letting you know that I am about to rip your head off. Mine and Blairs schedule works well for this avoidance tactic. By the time he gets home from running the dog I am just finishing up brushing my teeth and heading downstairs to get some breakfast. I don't have to say anything to anyone till I get to work and I LOVE it!

Lately Babe has been waking up early. As soon as I hop out of the shower there she is, someone I have to talk to, share my space with and yes, yell at from time to time. She pulls out all my make up, all my jewellery and all the kleenex out of the boxes. She drops things in the toilet when I am not looking and tries to put pit stick on when I am. She drives me bananas in the morning and it is starting to wear on me.

This morning I was 2 cents short for the group coffees at Timmy's and 3 minutes late for work, it is raining and I could not find any pants to wear. I am sitting in my little box at work avoiding all contact with humans. I am warning you now, try not to piss me off today because you might really see the Zombie come out.

Does everything come in 3?

It is going to be one of those "I'm a cranky pregnant lady" posts and "the world sucks right now".
Last night I came home to survey the mouse traps and listen to the low, mind numbing buzzing sound of 5 new ultrasonic mice be goners. I was sad to think of the $300.00 we might have to spend to have someone come in and take a look around to say "yup, you have mice. Here's some traps".
Over the weekend our lovely sink in the kitchen exploded. Not literally, but one of the pipes under the sink came loose and water poured everywhere. It was a mess. I cried while I tried to fix it, clean up the water, take care of babe and get ready for a birthday party that we needed to be at in an hour. After I had jimmied it enough so that the sink worked, Blair said he would take care of it after he was done work (which he has yet to even look at).
So to add insult to injury, yesterday I noticed that our linoleum in the kitchen, right behind our sink, is now puckered and puffy. I cleaned up the water the best I could but apparently it must of snuck through the cabinetry and pooled just under the counters for a devastating effect. Which means that in order for us to eventually sell we need replace our floor AND fix the sink. UGH! I am so frustrated! It wasn't that much water and yet our floor is now ruined.
Should I dare ask, what else could go wrong?!

Costco's Deceptions

Blair and I went to Costco yesterday for a much needed shopping spree. While there I decided to pick up some new shampoo and conditioner, I was on the last drops of my old stuff so it was over due. Deciding to try something new I grabbed a combo pack of shampoo and conditioner litres.

This morning I was super excited to hop in the shower and give them a go. I grabbed the first bottle, shampoo, rinsed. Grabbed the next bottle, shampoo... what the heck?! Shampoo, shampoo? Where's the conditioner. Deceiving Costco, who sells a combo pack of just shampoo?! Now I still have to buy conditioner and I have shampoo coming out of the wazoo! Needless to say I had to use Blair's this morning so now my hair is a fly away mess.

I am so ready to move on

I love my house, but I am ready for a bigger one. The townhome we are in now was perfect for Blair, Nanook and me. Now that we have Kaiya it just seems too squishy, it might just be all the crap we have but I like our crap and I don't feel like parting with it just to live comfortably in a place that was supposed to be a stepping stone anyways. So why not just move! Way easier said than done.

Will my new raise and Blair's blossoming career I know that we can afford a bigger place, I even found the floor plan that I want. A nice big 2200 square foot, attached double garage two story with a bonus room, 3 bedrooms, two and a half baths and a beautiful kitchen with cupboard space galore. But the monthly payments, floor plan, builder or even colour selections are not our problem. Our problem is down payment.

Like most people, the downpayment kicks everyone in the butt. With all our extra savings going towards the down payment of this house, the drop in the economy ate up every last penny that we could of gotten out of this home. If we sold our townhome now we may walk away breaking even with what we have owing on our mortgage, but we will not have a downpayment for the next place..... *la sigh*

For now we must sit and wait. We have small nest egg growing for a down payment, but I wish that the economy would co-operate so that I didn't have to wait years for my next home.

I guess I will just need to win the lottery.

Green with Envy!

All around us are people planning/going on trips to warm beautiful destinations and I have to admit that my little green eyed monster is starting to poke it's ugly head. Blair and I haven't been on a real vacation in 4 years (a week in Mexico for our honeymoon)! Sure we have been to Saskatchewan, Vancouver and even Niagara falls but we have not actually left the country, laid on a beach or even soaked up some rays pool side in over 4 years now.

Every single one of Blair's family members is taking off this summer to either somewhere warm or culture rich (ie: England, Paris, Malta etc.) and as for my family, my parents just got back from Hawaii, my sister is heading to Mexico and my baby bro just spent all of last summer in Indonesia (who knows where he is headed this summer). *la sigh* one can dream. Back yard and inflatable pool here we come!!

Found through Google search

I have lost the will to blog

I am in such a funk lately (or should I say pit party) that I haven't even found the will power to blog. I lost my job. My official last day is March 4th, then......... I don't know. I have dropped off a million resumes but there are so many people competeing for those jobs that I don't have a chance. We cannot afford for me to not work so becoming a SAHM is not an option.
I was told last thursday that 2 internal candidates applied, and automatically they get the job because it's a unionized company (as long as they meet the minimum requirements which they did because it's an entry level position). I didn't have a fighting chance, I was told flat out that if one hadn't applied then it would have been mine, no interview nothing (which makes me angrier).
This would have been such an amazing opportunity. The money would of been awesome, we would have been able to buy a new kitchen table, or bedroom set. We might have been able to save up more money for another house and get a real back yard for Kaiya and Nanook. We might have been able to have another baby one day. But all those things are lost (for now) and I feel like I once again have to start at the beginning.

I am so angry. I have to see these people every day. I have to train them! These people were supposedly my "friends" and not one of them had even come and talk to me before they applied to tell me that they were going to, and not one of them have come to apologize for putting me out of my job. It just goes to show that no one is your friend. Neither even thought of what this would do to me and my family! If they had, they would of came to talk to me and explain to me why they needed the job so badly. Instead they let me hear it through gossip.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that I have hit rock bottom, an absolute low and depression has started to sink in. I might not be blogging so much since I don't feel like I have much to blog about anymore.

K.

I need to get this off my chest

I am ANGRY! Everyday I begin to feel angrier and angrier about my work situation. I have to look at the people in the face that I KNOW have applied for my job and say "How are you? How was your weekend? Blah, blah blah" When all I really want to say is "F you! You are trying to steal my job, put me on the unemployment line, take food from my baby's mouth and you dare to come speak to me!" But I cannot. I cannot blame them for applying. Although it is a sh*t job, bottom of the barrel, nothing pays less in this company type of job. It is a step backwards for anyone in the company, but hey I guess if you hate your job that much then go for it. I perhaps would do the same. But it doesn't make me any less angry about the situation. The job closes tomorrow, I feel some relief in that..... then again, it's one day closer to Government Assistance.

You know it's gonna be a bad day when:

You get to work and realize you forgot to put makeup on. I feel naked, exposed and under dressed. I might as well of worn sweat pants.

Going out with a bust

This morning both Blair and got a crappy start to the day, I really hope this doesn't reflect on how 2011 is going to be. First off I lost my security badge for work. Not only does this get me in and out of the building but it also gets me in and out of the reception area. Only me, one other co-worker and the building maintenance people (oh and IT I guess too) have access to this room. Well this week is what we call PDO's (paid days off) for all of the employees (may I also remind you that I am NOT an employee, I am a contractor) and everyone has the week off, including all those who potentially have access to the reception area. With no one to let me in, I cannot unlock the front doors for the employees. Needless to say, I have to work :( So after almost an hour of tearing mine and my moms house apart I finally gave up and called my coworker. I was able to run to her home and borrow her swipe card and yay, I was only 30 minutes late for work.

To add icing on the cake for Blair, we switched cars this morning since we hadn't gotten the other car seat in his since we took it out for travelling to Saskatchewan which is not a big deal since he needed to drop babe off at my moms. When I lost my key he helped search high and low for it, putting him behind for the morning. After I had left and he was dropping Babe off at Nana's he realized that all of HIS work keys were in my pocket, since I drove his car. He in turn had to race to my work, get his keys and run to work for an early morning appointment with a client. What a sh*t show!!!

Last day of school

Officially tomorrow is but I plan to have my last assignment handed in tonight.
It has been one HELL of a week. It was stressful at work.... beyond belief, stressful at the school end of things, and on Sunday I came down with the nasty flu bug that's been nipping everyone in the butt.

Babe got sick on Friday night, in the middle of the night, once. So when I started to feel crappy on Sunday (no help from the small hangover I had from my work Christmas party the night before) I figured it was just going to be a one time throw up thing. NOPE! I started vomiting at 8:00pm. I think it was an every 30 minutes to an hour vomit fest till 5:00 in the morning!!!! I was a mess. Needless to say I never went to work yesterday and I needed to still study for and take a final exam last night at 6:00 (I got 87%, just to let you know).

On a beautiful side note, my anti-horseshoe/bad luck spell Blair and I got hexed with might finally be wearing off. At the Christmas party I entered my name into a draw to win a $250.00 package of "date night" gift cards. Out of at least 300 people Blair and I won!! It felt good to win something, especially after such a pooptacular week.

Soon I will get to post more pictures (cause I need to take some), bake up my Christmas goodies, and start on my Christmas crafts!

Bummed out

I was offered tickets to Harry Potter last night and had to refuse them, not because of school (I was looking forward to a well needed break since I just finished 2 research papers) but because no one would go with me *insert sad face*. Blair was off doing a Christmas thing at work (decorating the office and exchanging secret Santa presents) So I asked my Mom. No go, too busy with my sister and her son, and it was so last minute that any friends that I could of asked wouldn't be able to go (babies, husbands etc). It was a bummer. Needless to say I spent the night with a glass of wine, Glee and my self pity.

Blah!

I am having one of those "poor pitiful me" days today. I woke up depressed, I got to work depressed, and now I am just sitting her mulling over, well, everything!
I asked my work for some simple training (first aid and CPR) now they are avoiding me like the plaque. I have been here for over 2 years ( with my mat leave in the middle) and there have been other women who have come (and gone) after me who have received way more formal training then me, First Aid, CPR, Soft Skills etc. What the F' is wrong with me?! Ok, so they discriminated against me originally because I became pregnant, wrong but whatever. Now what is it? That I am young? That I am taking courses to better my life and get a PERMANENT position somewhere?! Come on give me a break! Discrimination is discrimination! I am in such a blah mood!!!!!!

Burned

Last weekend was Thanksgiving in Canada, it's a great excuse to get together with family, eat turkey and be thankful for the things in your life (even though you really should be thankful everyday). Not too much happened in our little household. We ate lots, visited lots and I got a little bit of a chemical burn on my face. Haha didn't see that one coming did you!

Friday night Blair and I had a much needed date night. When we were waiting for a table at a local restaurant/bar we decided to hit up the pharmacy next door for some much needed bathroom things. I picked up band-aids and a new face wash. We have been using Clearasil for the past few years but the pharmacy we went to didn't have any so we decided to try something new. We picked a product that has the same medical ingredients (and strength) in it as Clearasil, and it is a well known brand. I used it twice on Saturday and on when I woke on Sunday my face was slightly red and irritated so I stopped using it. By Monday it was worse. This morning I woke up and it is bright red, swollen and so sore that I cannot even wear makeup. I am at a loss as to what to do. See a Doctor? Use a different moisturizer? Stop using Moisturizers (it is very dry). I am just so uncomfortable :(

Looking in from the outside

I am starting to feel like an outsider again. Because I am working full time and taking 6 classes I have been swamped, but to top it off I am also starting to hit a depression spiral. I watch as everyone else is making plans, going out for drinks, having dinner, ejoying a "night to themselves" and all I want is to be involved. I don't get invites to the girl's night outs, no one thinks to call to see how I am doing, I havn't been able to see any of my friends in quite a while. I am just so lonely and I feel as though I have been left out of the party invites. I understand that people probably think that I am just so busy they don't want to bother calling, or if I had time I would call them but this is BULL SHIT! Why is it that I am always the one who needs to do the calling, inviting, or just checking in? When I get busy that's it..... I'm scraped from the social list. What the frick! It doesn't help that family takes priority over friends and I have one night a week to actually do something and it always ends up being a family get together of some form. I guess I am just doomed to have no social life.