I have lost the will to blog

I am in such a funk lately (or should I say pit party) that I haven't even found the will power to blog. I lost my job. My official last day is March 4th, then......... I don't know. I have dropped off a million resumes but there are so many people competeing for those jobs that I don't have a chance. We cannot afford for me to not work so becoming a SAHM is not an option.
I was told last thursday that 2 internal candidates applied, and automatically they get the job because it's a unionized company (as long as they meet the minimum requirements which they did because it's an entry level position). I didn't have a fighting chance, I was told flat out that if one hadn't applied then it would have been mine, no interview nothing (which makes me angrier).
This would have been such an amazing opportunity. The money would of been awesome, we would have been able to buy a new kitchen table, or bedroom set. We might have been able to save up more money for another house and get a real back yard for Kaiya and Nanook. We might have been able to have another baby one day. But all those things are lost (for now) and I feel like I once again have to start at the beginning.

I am so angry. I have to see these people every day. I have to train them! These people were supposedly my "friends" and not one of them had even come and talk to me before they applied to tell me that they were going to, and not one of them have come to apologize for putting me out of my job. It just goes to show that no one is your friend. Neither even thought of what this would do to me and my family! If they had, they would of came to talk to me and explain to me why they needed the job so badly. Instead they let me hear it through gossip.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that I have hit rock bottom, an absolute low and depression has started to sink in. I might not be blogging so much since I don't feel like I have much to blog about anymore.

K.