Random Thought of the Day

As I was flipping through the channels last night I came across the show "18 kids and counting". This was a new episode where the newly weds go to there first ultrasound. They were babbling on about how much she wanted to be pregnant and that they kept getting negative pregnancy test and how frustrating that was. But finally after a whole 4 months they got pregnant. Urg! Are you F'in kidding me! Come talk to me after 2 years of negative pregnancy tests, 1 round of clomid and two rounds of clomid and IUI. Then you have something to be frustrated over... hell come talk to me after a year of trying, that alone is frustrating! I get so antsy still when I hear people talking about how "long" it took them to get pregnant and most of the time it's within the first 6 months of trying. And then they have the nerve to complain about their pregnancy, "oh I am so sick, so sore, so tired blah blah blah!!". I wanted it all, I wanted the sickness, the tiredness, heck I would of taken bed rest for the whole nine months if that meant that I could have a baby.

Am I still bitter? You betcha! But I would never wish infertility on anyone. It is the utmost worst thing a couple could possibly endure together. Trust me Blair and I have been through it all. Lay offs, homelessness, abandonment from family, deaths in the family, and infertility is still the hardest, at least it was for us. It has changed us both. We look at life and our little family so differently now. I think of infertiltiy every single day, it will never go away for us. It'll always be or struggle.