My turn to dodge the C word

A few years ago I started to develop a pain in my muscle right above my left knee. The more active I was, the more it hurt. Then a mass formed. I never thought anything of it. I put it at the back of my mind thinking "it's just a muscle that is irritated. Just over worked." But it wasn't. It never went away and just over a week ago I was sent for a MRI in order to make sure that my lovely mass was not in deed cancer. All of my previous tests came back inconclusive. The doctors just weren't sure. I was given a 50/50 chance that it could be a malignant tumor. Here I was once again faced with the C word, only this time it was my body and not Blair's.
Yesterday I received my results. I walked into that doctor's office with a lump in my throat as well as on my leg. Benign, good news. I swallowed my lump. But the tumor is smack dab in the middle of the muscle and is filled with blood vessels meaning that it may be inoperable, bad news.
I have been referred to an orthopaedic surgeon in order to get the final take on whether or not they will operate.
 Some families grow tomatoes, we grow tumors.

Update on Fred the Fibroma

Blair has now been tumor free for almost 2 years (21 months to be exact). About 9 months ago he got fitted for a brand new mouth piece. This one is more realistic, more like dentures and if he didn't take it out to eat people would never know he was missing teeth. This mouth piece is still a temporary fix for his gaping hole though.
Blair is on the waiting list to get bone grafts done and his surgeon has placed an application into a government program that will help cover the costs of his implants. Lets keep our fingers crossed that he will be approved seemings how we don't exactly have $12,000 for new teeth. Neither of our insurance plans will cover the cost so unless this awesome government program comes through for us the new teeth will be another pipe dream.
If all comes together he could start his bone grafts in the next couple months. This is going to be a long and painful process of removing bone from the hip to use in his jaw... not a fun thought.

Before and After the removal of Frank the Fibroma

AKA Timmy the Tumor. Now that Blair is all healed up I have been given permission to post the before and afters of his tumor.

As you can see from the before pictures, it wasn't really that noticeable. It took Blair 4 years to realize that something needed to be done with this slow growing mass in his gums and even then it was the fact that his teeth were beginning to separate that we decided it was time to speak to someone about it.

The surgeon did an amazing job. There is no indication from the shape of his face that he is missing such a large chunk of bone and the fact that they were able to save the gums by peeling them back before removing Frank makes it look like he is only missing the 2 teeth. Now, we just have to pray that it doesn't come back and that they got it all.

As good as new

It's been just over a week since Blair's surgery and he is healing great. I thought for sure since they removed a Ping Pong ball size tumor/bone from his jaw that his appearance would change slightly but it hasn't. He looks like the man I married, just minus a couple of teeth. He has been eating solid foods for a while now and has even graduated up to more than just "soft solids". I am just so amazed at how well he is doing and how little pain he is in. I had no idea what the process was going to be like but I am glad that it has been an easy one. He thinks soon that he will be able to go back to work.

Blair had his fitting yesterday with the prosthedontist for his mouth piece. It looks pretty good minus the fact that it hasn't been adjusted for the gum line that he has lost so it does need a few tweeks. It has a slight ledge behind his teeth now (the gums have receded slightly behind his 2 front teeth so it doesn't sit flat on the roof of his mouth) and it gives him a lisp, so that also needs to be corrected. But other than those minor adjustments the teeth look pretty great. You would never know just by seeing him that they are fake.

Blair also has an appointment today with his surgeon for his final inspection on how things are healing.

Blair is home and recovering

He did awesome, spent the night but came home this morning. The surgeon did a marvellous job. He only lost 2 teeth but they had to cut into his sinuses. Now comes the slow healing process. Man it feels good to be done.

Tomorrow is the BIG day.

Tomorrow is Doom's Day. Both Blair and I are very anxious, nervous and just ready to get this tumor out. It is going to be a very LONG day. Blair is scheduled at 9:30 in the morning for his surgery which means they need us at the hospital at 6:30 for prep etc.(apparently we are going through customs). The surgery itself is only going to take about an hour or so. At the last consultation with the surgeon I had the balls to ask how they actually cut the bone out. I was picturing a small hand saw or even one of those carving knives, the electric ones, that some Dad's use for carving turkey on thanksgiving. I was wrong, they actually use something similar to a mini chisel and hammer. Ummm yuck!!

But anyways, Good luck babe. I love you and will always love you, missing teeth/jaw bone and all. You will always be the hottest man I have ever met.

First Prosthodontist Appointment

What a waste of time and money. First off, I should of gone but I didn't. With it not being MY doctor appointments I actually don't get the time off of work to go, I have to claim them as vacation. I should of gone with him for support but I didn't because I was thinking that maybe it would be pretty straight forward: this is what we are doing, this is what it's going to cost, this is what is covered, kind of appointment.

Um, nope. After speaking with Blair, I found out that the doctor told him NOTHING *fake look of shock on my face*. It was a 10 minute appointment, they told him he didn't know what they could do for him, that we will have to wait and see till after the surgery. The doctor continued to tell Blair that no, he did not feel that Blair would be a good candidate for bone grafts because the hole will be too large (Bone Grafts are covered under Health Care) but that they can for sure do a partial denture to replace the 4 teeth, but the hole will remain (which is not covered). He then took a quick mold of his mouth and passed him a $400.00 consultation bill. WTF?! Are you serious. The 10 minutes it took for you to proclaim that you are an idiot cost us $400.00?!

Needless to say I have been on the phone all afternoon looking for an alternative to Oral Surgeons and Prosthodontists (real Doctors who know what they are doing perhaps may help, not dentists). Now the hard part is trying to get these jack asses to "refer" us to someone else because God forbid we try and see a doctor of some form without a referral first. So far 1 out of the 2 doctors that Blair is dealing with right now have refused. Keep your fingers crossed that the surgeon has a heart and doesn't just view us as walking dollar signs.

This Morning I Woke Up Angry

Everyone has been asking us what is going on with Blair's mouth and his surgery. Well, nothing.

We are sort of in limbo with it. We are being told that the surgery to remove the tumor is covered, but anything beyond that is coming out of our pocket. WHAT?! You mean to say that all the bone grafts, prosthetic devices and any reconstructive surgery is going to be paid for by us, not health care. This is Bull!!

We were told this a month or two ago. So Blair has spent the last couple months trying to get a definitive answer as to what is covered, what isn't and who will have to do what procedure. As of yesterday we still have no idea. Why is no one giving us an answer? Why would it not be covered? In our health care system they pay for breast replacements after a mastectomy due to breast cancer, reconstructive surgery's after car crashes and up until 2 years ago they paid for gender reassignment surgery but they won't pay to fill in at least 2 square inches of my husbands face from a tumor?! Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture?

How can it be cosmetic if he needs that part of his face to eat, smile, talk or just feel like a human being and not a freak? His job requires him to speak with people on a daily basis face to face, are you trying to tell me that this is not going to affect his life style, emotional stability or the way others view him. BULL SHIT!!

This morning, I woke up angry.

Update on biopsy

Well the good news is that it's not cancer! Yay!

The bad news? The tumor is a lot bigger then we thought it was. It's not attached to the boe like we thought. It is the bone. He is going to have to remove four teeth and a large part of his jaw (up to his nasal cavity). Two weeks after the surgery Blair will be fitted with a prosthesis, this is only temporary though because after his aw is healed and ready they will begin the bone grafts. To do this they need to take bone from his hip to use in his jaw. It sounds like a very painful and long process. I am still in shock, but at least I can now talk/type about it without crying.

I wish he didn't have to got through this. I wish it was me instead of him.

Scared

Tomorrow at 8:00 am we find out the results of Blair's biopsy. Thoughts and prayers please.

What do you think of when you hear the word tumour?

I panic and think of cancer.

Last month Blair went to the dentist and the doc found a lump on his upper jaw (actually we knew it was there, it was starting to separate his teeth and was getting quite large). He was referred to an oral specialist and last week we were told that Blair has a tumour. I am having a very hard time concentrating on anything right now, especially school. All I can think about is "oh god, please let it be benign!"

Today Blair went in for his biopsy. Now we have to wait........ 3 effin weeks!! they won't even touch it till they get the results back. He now has 4 stitches and a very sore jaw. Apparently the tumour is attached to the bone and there have been talks of getting a metal plate in his mouth blah, blah, blah, I don't care what they have to do, just get it out of there!

I am scared to death. Needless to say I am not sleeping well and I am a zitty mess.