It looks like my Blackberry is 100% caput! I stuck it in some rice, which was the #1 recommendation and it did squat. I think I was either too late, turned it on too early, or this trick isn't actually a trick at all, just a way for the rice distributors to get people to use more rice.
So I am on the look out for any Telus compatible phone that is either super cheap cause it fell off a truck somewhere or is used. I think I am leaning towards getting another email savvy one, we will see. As long as it's not a crackberry ha.